MAP Ireland

I listened to a woman from Mars Hill Church in Seattle doing a message on “Soul Talk v. Self Talk” the other day. I was really convicted this week that often when I’m having coffee dates with my friends, hitting the range of discipling scenarios: formal, informal, group or just a catch up, I love to steer the conversation back to me. There’s the strategy, “oh yeah, I know what you feel. That happened to me when…” which is much more obvious. But then there are the more subtle ways that I like to draw the attention away from myself and then become a hero to the friend. ‘Let me fix you’ my words suggest. I learned a long time ago to veer from advice-giving, and lean into question-asking as a technique to really hear the other person. But then, I quickly go in my head analyzing the situation…what wounds does she have as a child, which actually distracts me from my friend rather than actually loving him/her. And when I ask the question, ‘am I blessing this person?’ I can walk away believing ‘yes’ but I’m getting more and more convinced that the answer is frequently ‘no’. I am putting myself as the answer to all their problems rather than Jesus!

This week I have had two really good conversations where I KNOW the Spirit was directing me. I prayed for my friends as I heard them talk, asking God what would YOU have me say to this person? How can I demonstrate your love for my friend and help recenter both of our lives on YOU, rather that what I can do for the person. One of the jewels of wisdom in the talk I listened to, and also one I have heard at different points of my apprenticeship year is this: ‘what would it look like for this person to be completely wrapped up and in love with Jesus alone?’ and that means that we have to have our imaginations increased. What would a fully redeemed, passionate and free woman look like in the person of ___? (because we are all created differently, which is another reason to believe that person x may not be designed exactly me!)

And that of course leads me to the question- what would MY life look life if I was totally resting in Jesus’s love? If I saw Him alone as the source of identity and Truth? One answer is that I wouldn’t need other people to think, wow, Rebecca is such a great friend. And I would long for others to be caught up in the good news of Jesus and his resurrection which invites us into full life!! It’s a much bigger story than the one my life and my conversations seem to be telling at present. And that one is much more beautiful and exciting.

And it’s all part of my job- I think I have the best job in the world!!

Becca Giles is from Charlottesville, VA and graduated from UVA ‘06. She participated in the summer internship ‘05-06 and moved to Ireland in May 2007 and is finishing her second year of the apprenticeship, through August 2009.